Just take an ax-handle to his scrotum, already.

Gas-Phase Rectally Administered Hopes

by Hemiac Plurge on Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Card Trick

I have seriously pondered having the following printed on a business card:

"Hi, I'm Hemiac!

I am 'on the Spectrum'. I'm very lucky, in that I can function pretty well in most situations. However, I tend to get excited pretty easily in conversation. This sometimes has funny results. Other times, I'll make an observation or comparison that may be personally wounding, or may "go on" about things. If I do so, please let me know. If you are uncomfortable pointing out the actual issue for any reason, just say "shoehorn", and I will stop whatever it is I'm doing immediately! If you are comfortable with offering clarification at any point afterwards (in any method or tone you choose), I will be very grateful.


Wouldn't that be more useful than "Motivated, Dynamic & Focused on YOUR Profitiability!"? At minimum, it would be more accurate.

That Whole "The Human Mind is Incapable of Examining It's Self" Thing is a Real Pickle.

Someone I follow on Twitter re-posted this little gem today:

Things like this are kind of cute, and may be actually useful for those attempting to navigate (WARNING: PEAK PRETENTIOUS WORD APPROACHING) shibboleths.

For someone from another country, or for whom English is not their first language, these little charts may sting a bit when they reveal an unrealized brush-off or demand a recalibration of one's social standing. Sure it sucks, but it's to be expected, after all: whole 'nother country.

This is probably why I like Immigrants so much.

I've Barely been Able to Suppress My Disdain While You Continually Blathered! Wasn't that Uncomfortable? So Long!

So there was this former co-worker who I really enjoyed talking to, and have continued to IM and email for a couple of years. When I left the place we both were at, he said "Let's stay in touch".

I now realize my answer should not have been: "Cool! Yay! A friend!"; but "Dang, I thought our time together was pretty great. I mean, you kept laughing".

Remember, up there, I said: "from a rural area"? This is, of course, not the reason I have been fooled. People seem to like that "Country Mouse/Town Mouse" fable, and I have, at some point, decided that it covers lots of my loud-mouthed, dick-tripping social gaffes. "Sorry I insulted your whole family, and by extension your entire values system! Gawrsh! This just ain't my milieu! Nyuk nyuk nyuk"!

I guess I'm keeping in touch with myself. Click here for rimshot.