Beware Strong Spirits!

I Want Iorek Byrnirson to be My Kid's College Roommate

by Hemiac Plurge on Sunday, February 26, 2017

Roofies. No.

"He put something in your drink. I used his blubber to lubricate my armor".

Never late for class.

"Can is not the same as must, but if you must and you can, then there's no excuse. And quit signing up for 8:30 classes."

Stay away from fools. Don't let it rub off on you.

"It is unwise to mate with ones who claim to be a "D.J." on twitter, yet have no vinyl. Any choad can download Traktor."

Sniff test.

"This one had a diseased pizzle. I sent him away. You cannot trick a bear."

Beware babymen.

"He has his mother on speed-dial. Wait. Being patient and choosing wisely is better than having to knock her tit out of his mouth at her funeral."